Attitude bye dating good i kissed new relationship romance toward
I was desperate to figure out what I had done wrong and how to fix it fast because I wasn't getting any younger!!But after reading this book, SURPRISE, God instead chose to take me on a deeper journey that has lead me down a path I never expected.About book: While the book is well-written and the ideas are well-expressed and thought out, Harris' theories just don't play well in a complex world filled with people.There is no set of rules or philosophies that one can apply to Christian premarital romance (nor any kind of romance, nor any kind of relationship, for that matter), and I believe that, unfortunately, Harris' ideas are a contribution to a philosophy that has caused much pain and cynicism in young single Christian circles (I can say this from experience).The biggest lesson I learned was what I was searching for wasn't a husband, I was really just trying to figure out who I was. Joshua Harris helped me realize what I really want is not A relationship, it's well rounded relationship'sssssssss. I want my life to be full of people who love and care about me, and if in the future one of those people is a hott man who ends up pursuing me for more, than yippee for me :) Until then, I wait. Yes, I know Joshua Harris isn't God and his book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" doesn't have the authority of the Bible - BUT he models it after the Bible and after Christ.
Harris has taken this idea and designed a dating paradigm that fosters to it, gearing up singles to pursue only that one, special, unique someone that God has made just for them.
I've heard so many of my girl friends complain about this guy that they like so much, who they happen to know likes them, with whom she hangs out all the time (often one-on-one, over coffee) and this guy just won't ask her out, won't pursue her openly, won't lay his cards on the table and make himself vulnerable.
Being a guy, and a guy that's been guilty of this, I can tell you that it's largely due to the aforementioned paradigm.
Asking a girl out is terrifying, even if you know she'll say yes; vulnerability is petrifying. That's why we hang out with that girl we love for hours on end, always alluding to our feelings for her but never outright pursuing her, waiting for God to make it happen.
This is why the unconscious assumption that God will "bring the right person" to us is so comfortable. It's comfortable, it's safe, and then you end up with mountains of sexual tension that haven't been expressed and eventually that coffee date becomes a make-out session without any pretext, without definitions, which leads to crossed boundaries and baggage.